The Man and I only found out that he'll be doing FIFO for the past 2 weeks. It is hardly a surprise, really, seeing that he did applied for the job and that would mean we should be prepared for any instances that he might get hired, right?
Well, at first they sent back and told him that they are only hiring locals, which puts him out of the candidate pool because we live 6 hours away. So we went "oh, too bad then" and moved on with our life.
But then they called, telling him the job is his if he was still up for it. Surprise aside, in very quick succession came the medicals required for the job, the details of the job, the package, the start date, the accommodation arrangement...the whole shebang.
At first I was ecstatic: moving! New environment! New people! Challenges!
And then when I had the time to think rationally, it was clear that moving was not a very rational move. We don't have kids yet, which would make relocating easier, but we do have two dogs and a life here that is not that easy to pack up and leave. I worked hard all winter to start a bed for a veggie garden, and now that my veggies are growing, I can't just uproot everything and leave! Well, I could but...you know...
I recently graduated with a Master degree and would prefer to stay in the metropolitan area while I am still at this age, and to join the corporate rat race while I still have the stomach for it. I like my museums and well-stocked libraries, Bolshoi ballet would be touring Brisbane in May, our friends are here...
So, I'm not moving. I'll be here holding the fort while he rides his Qantas/JetStar steed to the battlefield. 3 weeks on, 1 week off starting January 9th, 2013.
Understandably, I was at first emotionally bummed. Or to put it in his words to his mates: "The missus was spewing!". I went through my reaction with my girlfriends as my ranting boards to spare him the hassle of having me rant to him when he's trying to come to terms with his FIFO as well. But here's the thing: I only rant to my friends who I know have not had experience with the FIFO lifestyle...while I conveniently did not attempt to reach out for those who have that experience. Telling, eh?
In any emotional crisis, you have to be aware that the first reaction and reaching out you do is not always the ones that are going to be the most helpful, particularly because at a raw stage all you're trying to do is looking for people who will justify your irrationality. Can I get an amen in here?
Now I'm calmer, definitely more rational and more able to put things in perspective. Like any techno-generation, my first instinct was to cope with information gathering through the Internet. There are a wide array of FIFO families forum, support group and resources out there, FIFO Families and Mining Family Matters to name a few.
Particularly jarring and brought me down to Earth was The FIFO Wife blog. Deb's family of three kids under the age of 7 and FIFOing for 13 years really, absolutely, definitely and almost ashamedly put things in perspective for me.
Firstly, the Man and I are childless, which means I am luckier than most of the families who are doing FIFO. I don't have to sit the dogs down and explain to them why Daddy is going away. I won't ever have to deal with them crying for Daddy. If they give me a hard time at night, I'll send them out to play in the yard. Somehow I feel this will be frowned upon if I send two human kids to the backyard at night...
Secondly, where he is going is not exactly bumeff nowhere. The job is in Gladstone for crying out loud, hardly a remote place where mobiles and the likes don't work. It's 5-6 hours drive away and a roughly an hour or so plane ride.
With us being childless and him stationed so close, anytime I feel emotional, I can just hop on a train or a plane and see him. I don't even need to scramble for a babysitter or arrange school runs for when I am gone.
I will miss him. 21 days is a long stretch. But putting things in perspective makes me ashamed of my emotional state only a few days ago.
Other families are doing it tougher in this FIFO game. I really need to stop being a donkey about it.
I need to keep calm and harden the eff up.
Allow me another week for my selfish reaction and I promise I'll be more thankful.
0 comments:
Post a Comment